Who Kansas should hire to replace Turner Gill

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You'd be smiling, too, if you made $2 million per win and got $6 million to take the next three years off.

Mike Leach to Kansas. Everybody outside of Lawrence knew that was a pipedream. Almost as ridiculous as that Jim Harbaugh-to-Kansas storyline from 2009, when the Jayhawks ran the only decent football coach in school history out of town.

Other big names are being thrown out there, none more preposterous than Notre Dame’s Brian Kelly. I’m not making that one up, though it is from a message board. With that, as well as the stupefying expectations Kansas fans have for their next coach, in mind, here are a few suggestions for the Jayhawks next football coach:

MOLLY MCGRATH (WILDCATS)

Who better to coach the sport of kings, better than diamond rings …

HAYDEN FOX (COACH)

The man won at Minnesota State with Luther and Dobber as assistant coaches.

ED GENNERO

Despite playing iron-man football and having Sinbad on the defensive line, he tied Kansas 3-3 for Texas State’s first non-loss.

Tennessee's Pat Summitt has 1,000 career wins, 500 times more than Kansas did this season.

PAT SUMMITT

Winningest coach in NCAA basketball history. Never mind that she isn’t a football coach.

DARTH VADER

And you thought Mark Mangino was tough on his players.

Bad, Kansas football is.

YODA

He schooled Darth Vader. And he was about 800 years old. It might take that long to rebuild in Lawrence.

If KU is looking for a coach to distract the officials, this is their guy.

BOBBY “THE BRAIN” HEENAN

Who better to lead your team than the guy who managed Andre The Giant, among others?

Great coach. Question is, does he get the boosters he had at UCLA (or the ones who support Kansas basketball).

JOHN WOODEN

Arguably the greatest coach of all-time. One issue: He isn’t alive.

He started as a basketball coach ... perfect fit at Kansas.

VINCE LOMBARDI

Arguably the greatest football coach of all time. But: See John Wooden.

PHIL WESTON AND MIKE “JUICE BOX” DITKA

The former won a rec soccer league title, the latter a Super Bowl.

MICKEY GOLDMILL

“You’re gonna eat lightning and crap thunder …”

Even he might struggle to resurrect this program.

JESUS

I hear he’s good with reclamation projects.

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