Big 12 rankings, Week 9: The movie villain edition


The Tigers have been disappointing for much of the season, but Saturday's win at Texas A&M vaults Missouri into the top four.

Oklahoma State and Oklahoma did their thing last week. The rest of the conference is a muddled mess with Missouri climbing and Texas A&M and Texas Tech tumbling. This week’s rankings are brought to you by movie villains.

1. OKLAHOMA STATE (8-0, 5-0) | LAST WEEK: Defeated Baylor 59-24 | THIS WEEK: Vs. Kansas State

The rub: Another week, another blowout against a decent team. Easy to build a program with a 32-year-old quarterback and the money of T.Boone Pickens, a corporate raider just like this guy …

2. OKLAHOMA (7-1, 4-1) | LAST WEEK: Defeated Kansas State 58-17 | THIS WEEK: Vs. Texas A&M

The rub: You knew the Sooners would bounce back against Kansas State after the Texas Tech debacle. Oklahoma has been the Terminator of the Big 12 through the years …

3. KANSAS STATE (7-1, 4-1) | LAST WEEK: Lost to Oklahoma 58-17 | THIS WEEK: At Oklahoma State

The rub: Poor Wildcats. They never had a chance against Oklahoma after the Sooners’ loss to the Red Raiders. As for movie villains? Bill Snyder and Mr. Potter, because they’re the same age …

4. MISSOURI (4-4, 2-3) | LAST WEEK: Defeated Texas A&M 38-31 | THIS WEEK: At Baylor

The rub: Perhaps a little high, but keep in mind Missouri’s four losses have been to teams currently ranked No. 3, No. 10, No. 11 and No. 23, including three on the road. Bonus points for winning at No. 16 on the road, not to mention a fellow future SEC team. Very Darth Vader-like …

5. TEXAS A&M (5-3, 3-2) | LAST WEEK: Lost to Missouri 38-31 | THIS WEEK: At Oklahoma

The rub: The Aggies should be 8-0. They’ve choked away three big second-half leads. The finish like this guy …

6. TEXAS (5-2, 2-2) | LAST WEEK: Defeated Kansas 43-0 | THIS WEEK: Vs. Texas Tech

The rub: Texas did what everybody does – beat Kansas. The Longhorns also have a front-row seat in watching the fourth team leave the Big 12, largely because Texas acts like this villain …

7. TEXAS TECH (5-3, 2-3) | LAST WEEK: Lost to Iowa State 41-7 | THIS WEEK: At Texas

The rub: What. The. Hell? Really, Texas Tech? Seriously? Iowa State at home? By five touchdowns? The Red Raiders are like Annie Wilkes – unpredictable … but mostly bad …

8. BAYLOR (4-3, 1-3) | LAST WEEK: Lost to Oklahoma State 59-24 | THIS WEEK: Vs. Missouri

The rub: As always, the Bears underwhelm. Baylor’s been a joke since the inception of the Big 12, much like Shooter …

9. IOWA STATE (4-4, 1-4) | LAST WEEK: Defeated Texas Tech 41-7 | THIS WEEK: Vs. Kansas

The rub: Good luck figuring this team out. But on Saturday, they looked a lot like this villain from “Marathon Man” …

10. KANSAS (2-6, 0-5) | LAST WEEK: Lost to Texas 43-0 | THIS WEEK: At Iowa State

The rub: Perhaps the worst Big 12 team in history goes well with a villain from perhaps the worst movie of all-time …

Week Eight Big 12 rankings: Guns N’ Roses edition

Week Seven Big 12 rankings: Dodgeball: A true underdog story edition

Week Six Big 12 rankings: Cheers edition

Week Five Big 12 rankings: Super Bad edition

Week Four Big 12 rankings: Pro wrestling edition

Week Three Big 12 rankings: The Seinfeld edition

Week Two Big 12 rankings: The awful music video edition

Week One Big 12 rankings: The Kingpin edition

Preseason Big 12 rankings: The Star Wars edition


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s