Big 12 rankings, Week Two: The awful music videos edition


So many horrible music videos, so little time (not to mention a dwindling number of teams). The Week Two Big 12 (minus-3) rankings are brought to you by god-awful music videos so bad that Vanilla Ice didn’t make the cut. As always, the weekly rankings don’t reflect my predictions for the season, simply how the teams have performed up to this point:

1. OKLAHOMA (1-0) | LAST WEEK: Bye | THIS WEEK: At Florida State

NCAA renegades of the 1980s (and 90s, 2000s, and pretty much every other decade) play on the road against Free Shoes U this week, though news of Oklahoma bailing on the Big 12 may overshadow the top-five showdown. Before you leave Sooners …

2. OKLAHOMA STATE (2-0) | LAST WEEK: Beat Arizona 37-14 | THIS WEEK: At Tulsa

Mike “Iceman from Top Gun” Gundy finally found a Stoops he can beat. The Cowboys move up two spots after an impressive performance. Are they are their way to the Pac-76 with Oklahoma? Looks like the Cowboys and Big 12 are heading …

3. BAYLOR (1-0) | LAST WEEK: Bye | THIS WEEK: Vs. Stephen F. Austin

I understand the Bears are fighting for their BCS lives right now, but be who you are Baylor. Apparently, after that upset of TCU, the Bears are ….

4. TEXAS A&M (1-0) | LAST WEEK: Bye | THIS WEEK: Vs. Idaho

Still think the Aggies are the most overrated team in college football without a leprechaun mascot. When it comes to the Big 12, Texas A&M is …

5. MISSOURI (1-1) | LAST WEEK: Lost at Arizona State 37-30 in OT | THIS WEEK: Vs. Western Illinois

Poor Missouri fans. How many games do the Tigers lose like this? This has got to be the feeling by now …

6. TEXAS (2-0) | LAST WEEK: Beat BYU 17-16 | THIS WEEK: At UCLA

Remember when the Longhorns destroyed teams like Rice and BYU? Remember when the Big 12 felt this way about Texas? …

7. IOWA STATE (2-0) | LAST WEEK: Beat Iowa 44-41 in 3OT | THIS WEEK: At UConn

HUGE win for Paul Rhoads and the Cyclones. A perfect day for their fans (who in the hell thought it’d be a good idea to put this woman in a music video based on the 48-hour long Lord of the Rings trilogy?) …

8. KANSAS (2-0) | LAST WEEK: Beat Northern Illinois 45-42 | THIS WEEK: At Georgia Tech

I haven’t heard otherwise, so I’ll assume Bob Davis survived the call of Saturday’s fourth-down score to beat the Huskies. Despite the win, KU is not going to be very good this year, you know it’s true …

9. TEXAS TECH (1-0) | LAST WEEK: Bye | THIS WEEK: At New Mexico

Are the Red Raiders bound for the West Coast? Tell me again why they fired Mike Leach? Because they did, they deserve what has to be the worst music video ever produced …

10. KANSAS STATE (1-0) | LAST WEEK: Bye | THIS WEEK: Vs. Kent State

Don’t worry, EMAW, they’ll move up the rankings if they manage to beat a crap team by more than three points. As far as that opener against Eastern Kentucky, it was …


8 thoughts on “Big 12 rankings, Week Two: The awful music videos edition

  1. Stacey

    Separate Ways is so classically awful, it’s great.

    Couldn’t help but notice the lack of country videos in your list. There are some doozies–first one that springs to mind is “Sold” by John Michael Montgomery. Please look it up if you haven’t seen it. It’s truly bad.

    • Ernie Webb III

      I’ll check it out. I’ve never been a huge country fan, except for the older stuff my parents love like Johnny Cash. Hopefully the Big 12’s around long enough to incorporate some country into the blogs.

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