Big 12 rankings, Week One: The Kingpin edition

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An undefeated start for the Big 12 (minus-3) in Week One. Enjoy it while you can, because this league isn’t going to be around much longer. This week’s rankings are brought to you by the comedy classic Kingpin, circa 1996. As always, the weekly rankings don’t reflect my predictions for the season, simply how the teams performed last week:

1. OKLAHOMA (1-0) | LAST WEEK: Beat Tulsa 47-14 | THIS WEEK: Bye

The rub: Ho-hum, another blowout. The Sooners are off this week before a showdown of epic proportions against Florida State. Biggest showdown since …

2. BAYLOR (1-0) | LAST WEEK: Beat TCU 50-48 | THIS WEEK: Bye

The rub: Which is more impressive, that the Bears actually won, or that they scored 50 points on the Horned Frogs’ defense? Almost as impressive as …

3. TEXAS A&M (1-0) | LAST WEEK: Beat SMU 46-14 | THIS WEEK: Bye

The rub: Ironic that the Aggies pounded a team that expressed interested in joining the Big 12. SMU of the early 1980s, yes. SMU of the last 20 years, no …

4. OKLAHOMA STATE (1-0) | LAST WEEK: Beat Louisiana-Lafayette 61-34 | THIS WEEK: Vs. Arizona

The rub: Playstation 3 offense, Atari defense. At some point, the latter is going to result in …

5. MISSOURI (1-0) | LAST WEEK: Beat Miami (Ohio) 17-6 | THIS WEEK: At Arizona State

The rub: The Redhawks won 10 games last year and are the preseason favorite in the MAC. Still, Missouri’s offense looked mediocre, operating like this …

6. TEXAS (1-0) | LAST WEEK: Beat Rice 34-9 | THIS WEEK: Vs. BYU

The rub: Don’t let the 25-point spread fool you. The Longhorns led just 13-9 late in the third quarter. Up next is BYU. Texas might need to bring in a distraction …

7. TEXAS TECH (1-0) | LAST WEEK: Beat Texas State 50-10 | THIS WEEK: Bye

The rub: Would have been a lot better had the Red Raiders defeated the Texas State Fightin’ Armadillos from Necessary Roughness. I still don’t think Tech is going to be very good. Might want to bring in Vanessa Angel (or Randy Quaid) …

8. KANSAS (1-0) | LAST WEEK: Beat McNeese State 42-24 | THIS WEEK: Vs. Northern Illinois

The rub: Give the Jayhawks credit … they won a game. It might be the only one they do. The rest of the season will look a lot like this …

9. IOWA STATE (1-0) | LAST WEEK: Beat Northern Iowa 20-19 | THIS WEEK: Vs. Iowa

The rub: Like Kansas State, the Cyclones needed a late touchdown to beat a Football Championship Subdivision school. Could have been worse, but the Clones looked like they’d been …

10. KANSAS STATE (1-0) | LAST WEEK: Beat Eastern Kentucky 10-7 | THIS WEEK: Bye

The rub: We were there. What they hell was that? One of the ugliest football games in the history of the world (slight exaggeration). Fail. Little like this …

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8 thoughts on “Big 12 rankings, Week One: The Kingpin edition

  1. How could you tell what ISU looked like? They are only televised once or twice a year……and now that I just made fun of how mediocre they are, they’ll probably beat my Hawks next week……

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