How to treat a girl, take two


I snicker every time I sit down to write one of these, mainly because to attach my words to expertise on this subject seems a little silly. I’m leaning more toward believing a lot of guys are just dumb. Anyway, here a few more tips (that’s what she said):


Chivalry’s not dead, but apparently it’s on life support. At least that’s the impression I got when I opened every door (well, except to the bathroom. That’d be wrong on many levels) for Shana. The first month or so it seemed like she’d never had a door opened for her. Seven months later, she waits at the door, knowing I’ll open it (pretty cute, really).


My favorite scene from “Stranger than fiction.” Shana had told me a few times before watching it that Will Ferrell character was like me in that he’s “really sweet, your kind of sweet.” When he delivered Maggie Gyllenhaal’s character – a baker – a box of flours, I knew what she meant.

Anyway, women LOVE flowers. It doesn’t have to be all the time. And you should NOT do it just because you screwed up or feel like you have to. They’ll see right past that crap.

Oh, and send them to work. That way they get to brag.


Not actually going on them, but remembering them. I know it’s insanely dorky, but I keep a running total of the number of days since we started dating in my head. That way I can say “happy 227 days.” As I said in the last blog, that won’t work for every girl. Some would find it silly. Again, trust your instinct.

Obviously, you should remember anniversaries, birthdays and Valentine’s Day. That takes little effort. If you don’t, that’s a …


There’s something about scooping a lady up and taking her to bed. One of my favorite things is picking up Shana after she’s fallen asleep on the couch and carrying her to bed. They’ve also led to some hilarious moments, like ramming her elbow into the laundry door or laying her on the bed and hearing, “I have to take my makeup off anyway.” My response, “Well, hell, if I’d known that I wouldn’t have carried your ass in here!” Romantic? Actually, yes, because it was funny.


2 thoughts on “How to treat a girl, take two

  1. Barbara

    wait. what are you doing in the bedroom when you are not married? I think it’s time. Write a blog on that!! Love, Barbara

    • Ernie Webb III

      Maybe I will. Both of us have had one shitty marriage and are perfectly happy living in sin 😉

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