Big 12 rankings, Week 7: The “Rocky” edition

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We’re down to the final week with virtually every seed, with the exception of Iowa State as the No. 12, still up for grabs. This week’s rankings are brought to you by the “Rocky” series.

1. TEXAS (24-5, 12-2, +5): Are we in the midst of another late-season swoon by the Longhorns? With K-State tonight and Baylor on Saturday, Texas better wake up because …

2. KANSAS (27-2, 12-2, +5): If the Jayhawks hold serve at home and upend rival Missouri on Saturday in Columbia, they may win the Big 12 outright. And their fans will rejoice …

3. TEXAS A&M (22-6, 9-5, +2): Good thing the Aggies finish the season at home against Texas Tech, or they could slide all the way to the fifth seed. Fortunately for Texas A&M, they end up like Rocky in this scene during all of their close games …

4. KANSAS STATE (20-9, 8-6, +1): One of the hottest teams in the country, the Wildcats pulled away down the stretch against Missouri and are in good shape to earn a bye in the Big 12 Tournament. Give K-State credit. This team took a beating early but came back swinging. As for everybody K-State is playing lately? They’re cut! …

5. MISSOURI (22-7, 8-6, +1): The Tigers’ road woes continued at K-State, where Mizzou rallied from an early double-digit deficit to forge a tie with six minutes left, only to fall apart down the stretch. What does Ivan Drago have to say about MU’s chances away from home? …

6. COLORADO (18-11, 7-7, Even): Well, well, well. Welcome back to the NCAA Tournament picture, Colorado. The Buffaloes’ second half against Texas on Saturday was one of the best 20 minutes of basketball from any team this year. It’s as if Tad Boyle said …

7. BAYLOR (18-10, 7-7, Even): The Bears’ tournament hopes are still alive, but they’re going to have to win at Oklahoma State on Tuesday and at home Saturday against Texas. Baylor reminds me a lot Rocky’s son in the sixth movie. Maybe this will inspire the Bears (it’s arguably the best scene in a wildly underrated movie) …

8. NEBRASKA (18-10, 6-8, -1): So much for a trip to the NCAAs. That went up in smoke with a loss at home to K-State and an overtime loss at Iowa State. The Huskers have been like beef in this scene of late …

9. OKLAHOMA STATE (17-11, 5-9, -2): The Cowboys aren’t going to the Big Dance, but they can dash Baylor’s hopes is week. As for the rest of OSU’s season, it’s been a little like this …

10. OKLAHOMA (12-16, 4-10, -3): How much longer is Jeff Capel around? The prediction for his offseason? …

11. TEXAS TECH (12-17, 4-10, -3): Pat Knight’s days may be numbered, too. And what does Drago have to say about that? …

12. IOWA STATE (15-14, 2-12, -5): The Cyclones continue to play hard and were rewarded with a win against Nebraska that likely knocked the Cornhuskers off the NCAA bubble. Next, ISU can damage Colorado’s chances. This video has nothing to do with Iowa State, but it has to be included in this blog because, well, it’s ridiculous that he can give this speech after having his ass kicked for an hour …

Looking for previous rankings?:

Big 12 rankings, Week 6: Old-school rap edition … http://tinyurl.com/6jqpnr6

Big 12 rankings, Week 5: “Naked Gun” edition … http://tinyurl.com/4akwl7q

Big 12 rankings, Week 4: “Saturday Night Live” editionhttp://tinyurl.com/6aqkw82

Big 12 rankings, Week 3: “Office Space” editionhttp://tinyurl.com/6cw4gy9

Big 12 rankings, Week 2: One-hit wonders edition http://tinyurl.com/4zwe4jl

Big 12 rankings, Week 1: “The Big Lebowski” editionhttp://tinyurl.com/66dexn2

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Big 12 rankings, Week 6: The old school rap edition

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Six, well 6½ now, weeks into the season and it looks like we have a clear-cut top five in the Big 12. After frustrating their fans for weeks, Missouri and Kansas State have gone on runs to lock up bids to the NCAA Tournament.

1. TEXAS (24-4, 12-1, +5): What was that, Texas? Fortunately for the Longhorns, they could afford a hiccup against Nebraska after Kansas lost to Kansas State. Still, it was the Cornhuskers, who followed one of the biggest wins in school history with a clunker against the Wildcats at home. Maybe the Horns sipped a little of this before Saturday’s loss …

2. KANSAS (26-2, 11-2): Drama doesn’t seem to faze this team much. Then again, why would it when you’ve got 15 McDonald’s All-Americans to step in when Tyshawn Taylor falls back into point plankn’. The Jayhawks should cruise into their showdown with Missouri next weekend at 13-2. As for Taylor, well, Bill Self just doesn’t understand …

3. TEXAS A&M (22-5, 9-4, +2): The Aggies have to be making a run at the NCAA record for wins in close games. They’re either very good or very lucky (or somewhere in between). Nonetheless, A&M keeps winning close games to the break of dawn, much to its fans’ delight …

4. MISSOURI (22-6, 8-5, +1): The Tigers likely secured an NCAA bid over the past week with three wins that assured a .500 or better record in the Big 12. As for those road woes? The Tigers went to Iowa State on Saturday and expressed themselves …

5. KANSAS STATE (19-9, 7-6, +1): Just two weeks ago the Wildcats were left for dead. Suddenly, they’ll have the inside track on a bye at the Big 12 Tournament with a win Saturday of Missouri. What are the Cats fighting for? …

6. BAYLOR (17-10, 6-7, Even): There’s no shame in losing at Missouri. Just about everybody does. But at home against Texas Tech with your NCAA Tournament hopes on the line? Mama says that pretty much knocks Baylor off the bubble …

7. NEBRASKA (18-9, 6-7, Even): One giant step forward (upsetting Texas at home), followed by one giant step back (losing at home to Kansas State in a game it had to win to make the NCAA Tournament). The Cornhuskers are NIT-bound. That’s “the message” here …

8. COLORADO (17-11, 6-7, Even): The Buffaloes got a critical road win Wednesday at Texas Tech. Now they need to knock off Texas at home to get in position for a run to the NCAA Tournament. And how does Colorado pull that off? Don’t sweat the technique …

9. OKLAHOMA STATE (16-11, 4-9, -2): The Cowboys went in free-fall mode during a brutal stretch that included consecutive losses to Nebraska, Texas, Texas A&M and Kansas. OSU has no shot at the NCAA Tournament. The Pokes have been playing like Sucker MC’s lately …

10. OKLAHOMA (12-15, 4-9, -2): The Sooners have lost six straight, with lowlights including a home loss to Nebraska and a 47-point outing against Texas A&M. It may be hammer time in the offseason for Jeff Capel …

11. TEXAS TECH (12-16, 4-9, -3): Make no mistake, the Red Raiders are bad. But they have had their moments, and wins over Nebraska and Baylor might end up costing those teams NCAA bids. Nonetheless, this team continues to fight the power – and lose …

12. IOWA STATE (14-14, 1-12, -5): The Cyclones haven’t won a game in five weeks. They’ve lost 10 straight, including six by single digits. Home dates against Nebraska and Colorado could mean a little relief for this team. But anybody who thinks this team is going anywhere in the postseason is …

Looking for previous rankings?:

Big 12 rankings, Week 5: “Naked Gun” edition … http://tinyurl.com/4akwl7q

Big 12 rankings, Week 4: “Saturday Night Live” editionhttp://tinyurl.com/6aqkw82

Big 12 rankings, Week 3: “Office Space” editionhttp://tinyurl.com/6cw4gy9

Big 12 rankings, Week 2: One-hit wonders edition http://tinyurl.com/4zwe4jl

Big 12 rankings, Week 1: “The Big Lebowski” editionhttp://tinyurl.com/66dexn2

Big 12 rankings, Week Five: The “Naked Gun” edition

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Five weeks into the conference season Texas and Kansas are clearly the best teams in the Big 12. As for spots Nos. 3-10? Flip a coin with two games separating eight teams. The Week Five Big 12 rankings are brought to you by “Naked Gun.” Credit to my boy Scott Rochat for pitching those flicks in honor of Leslie Nielsen.

 1. TEXAS (22-3, 10-0, +5): Ho hum, another two victories for the Longhorns last week. Two reasons for concern, though: 1. Texas looks bored at times. 2. The Longhorns’ free throws are like “a bunch of bombs in the air …” (“Hey everybody, it’s Enrico Pallazzo!”)

2. KANSAS (24-2, 9-1, +4): No. 1 for about eight hours, then utterly embarrassed by your arch rival. The Jayhawks better learn to play a little defense before the NCAA Tournament. Frank Drebin rubbed off Gorbachev’s birthmark … would he yank off Bill Self’s rug? …

3. BAYLOR (16-8, 6-5, +1): The Bears played Texas about as tough as anybody in the conference has, cutting a 17-point deficit to three with about two minutes left. Just when you think Scott Drew’s got it figured out, something like this happens …

4. TEXAS A&M (19-4, 6-4, +1): While it’s true Colorado and Texas Tech aren’t setting the world on fire, winning twice on the road last week was a much-needed boost for the Aggies. Before those wins, A&M had been playing like a bunch of vegetables …

5. MISSOURI (19-6, 5-5, Even): If the Tigers played like they did Monday in Lawrence consistently on the road, they’d be in contention for a top three seed. Still waiting for Mizzou to respond like this to the naysayers …

6. COLORADO (16-10, 5-6, -1): The Buffaloes survived – barely – against K-State, three days after choking against Texas A&M in a game they really had to have. Hey, the Buffs just wanna be loved, Ed …

7. KANSAS STATE (17-9, 5-6, -1): Monday is proof that it’s not too late for Kansas State to salvage its season. Maybe the Wildcats have discovered the “ghosts” of last year’s team …

8. NEBRASKA (16-8, 4-6, -1): If the Cornhuskers are serious about making the NCAA Tournament, they’ll make the most of their opportunity Saturday at home against Texas. Nebraska didn’t play Oregon State this season, but I’m including this clip because, well, it’s damn funny …

9. OKLAHOMA STATE (16-8, 4-6, -1): The Cowboys’ lone marquee victory is against a Missouri team that simply doesn’t win on the road. OSU has plenty of chances to improve its NCAA resume with games against Texas, Texas A&M and Kansas coming up. But I suspect that stretch will go something like this …

10. OKLAHOMA (12-12, 4-6, -1): We all know the Sooners were going to have a long season. Maybe watching this will help …

11. TEXAS TECH (11-14, 3-7, -3): Pat Knight’s days in Lubbock likely are numbered, but as his father once said, his critics can do this to his backside …

12. IOWA STATE (14-11, 1-9, -4): Hey, at least Cyclone fans can look forward to baseball season …

Big 12 Standings

Team                       Big 12          Overall          +/-

Texas                      10-0             22-3               +5

Kansas                    9-2                24-2               +4

Texas A&M           6-4                19-4               +1

Baylor                     6-5                16-8               +1

Missouri                 5-5                19-6               Even

Colorado                5-6                16-10             -1

Kansas State        5-6                17-9               Even

Nebraska               4-6                16-8               -1

Oklahoma State  4-6                16-8               -1

Oklahoma             4-6                12-12             -1

Texas Tech            3-7                11-14             -3

Iowa State            1-9                14-11             -4

Last week

Monday: Kansas 103, Missouri 86

Wednesday: Texas A&M 73, Colorado 70; Baylor 74, Nebraska 70; Texas 68, Oklahoma 52

Saturday: Texas A&M 70, Texas Tech 67; Missouri 84, Oklahoma 61; Texas 69, Baylor 60; Kansas 89, Iowa State 62; Nebraska 65, Oklahoma State 54; Colorado 58, Kansas State 56

This week

Monday: Kansas State 84, Kansas 66

Tuesday: Texas Tech at Missouri, Wayland Baptist at Baylor

Wednesday: Iowa State at Texas, Oklahoma State at Texas

Saturday: Missouri at Iowa State, Texas at Nebraska, Colorado at Kansas, Oklahoma at K-State

Big 12 rankings, Week 4: “Saturday Night Live” editionhttp://tinyurl.com/6aqkw82

Big 12 rankings, Week 3: “Office Space” editionhttp://tinyurl.com/6cw4gy9

Big 12 rankings, Week 2: One-hit wonders edition http://tinyurl.com/4zwe4jl

Big 12 rankings, Week 1: “The Big Lebowski” editionhttp://tinyurl.com/66dexn2

Big 12 rankings Week Four: The “Saturday Night Live” skits edition

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Halfway through the season and Texas and Kansas are running away from the pack. The Week Four rankings are brought to you by “Saturday Night Live” skits: 

TEXAS (20-3, 8-0, +4): The Longhorns continue to dominate after two more double-digit wins last week. Rick Barnes’ team is getting the sugar they need …

KANSAS (22-1, 7-1, +4): The Jayhawks kept pace with Texas and open the second half of the conference slate with a home game against arch rival Missouri. KU had a hell of a time finding an AD. Did they interview this man? …

BAYLOR (15-7, 5-4, +1): The Bears got a much-needed marquee road win Saturday at College Station. Perhaps they consulted this deeply spiritual person ….

MISSOURI (18-5, 4-4, even): Ho hum, road loss, followed by a dominating win at home. But, as we’ve learned about this conference if you don’t win on the road, your Big 12 title hopes mean jack squat …

TEXAS A&M (17-5, 4-4, -2): The Aggies are starting to fall apart after three straight losses, including back-to-back home setbacks against Texas and Baylor. Remember when this was the surprise team in the league? ….

COLORADO (15-9, 4-5, even): With the exception of a win at K-State two weeks ago, the Buffaloes have found life on the road to be a scalding hot tub …

KANSAS STATE (16-8, 4-5): Perhaps the departure of Wally Judge has actually helped this team. Or perhaps they’re using more cowbell …

OKLAHOMA STATE (16-7, 4-5, -1): The Cowboys took care of business and remained in the hunt for an NCAA bid by upending Missouri and Oklahoma at home. This clip has nothing to do with OSU, but it simply has to be in this blog …

NEBRASKA (15-7, 3-5, -1): Doc Sadler’s teams always amaze me. They look nothing like a basketball team physically, but always seem to compete. Still, they’re “wookin pa nub” from the NCAA Tournament committee …

OKLAHOMA (12-10, 4-4, +1): As bad as the Sooners were in the nonconference, Jeff Capel deserves credit for the turnaround in conference. Those of us who thought OU would finish last were WRONG! …

TEXAS TECH (11-13, 3-6, -2): They’ve somehow managed to win three conference games, but would they be any worse with this cat as head coach …

IOWA STATE (14-10, 1-8, -4): The Cyclones may need to see this guy for a little pick-me-up …

Big 12 rankings, Week 3: “Office Space” edition … http://tinyurl.com/6cw4gy9

Big 12 rankings, Week 2: One-hit wonders edition … http://tinyurl.com/4zwe4jl

Big 12 rankings, Week 1: “The Big Lebowski” edition … http://tinyurl.com/66dexn2