Big 12 rankings, Week 1: “The Big Lebowski” edition

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As promised, the Big 12 rankings/pop culture mashup extend to basketball season. The opening edition is brought to you by “The Big Lebowski” (Overall record, league record in parenthesis. Plus-one for a road win, minus-one for a home loss):

1. KANSAS (17-0, 2-0, +1): Yes, the Jayhawks struggled at home against Nebraska, but Kansas is still the Jesus in this league until somebody proves otherwise …

2. TEXAS A&M (16-1, 3-0, +1): After a big overtime win against Missouri in a game the Aggies probably should have lost, Texas A&M appears to be a legit contender. But, please, enough of the Mark Turgeon-played-at-Kansas references. The programs aren’t similar (1:30 mark in the clip) …

3. TEXAS (14-3, 2-0, +1): We’ll know more about the Longhorns after this week (Wednesday vs. Texas A&M, Saturday at Kansas). For now, where is the Big 12 title Texas longs for? …

4. COLORADO (14-4, 3-0, +1): Has any team looked better thus far in the conference play? A win over Missouri and at Kansas State. Still, I’m waiting for this to happen …

5. MISSOURI (15-3, 1-2, Even): Several analysts have referred to Missouri as the “most exciting team in college basketball” because the Tigers play a lot of close games. Unfortunately, the Tigers are Shomer Shabbos, because they don’t make free throws on Saturdays …

6. BAYLOR (12-4, 2-1, +1): The Bears have been underwhelming so far, notably in a blowout loss at Iowa State. Scott Drew’s sideline gymnastics continue. At what point does he do this to an official? …

7. KANSAS STATE (13-5, 1-2, -1): The Wildcats looked like last year’s team Saturday, even if it was against Texas Tech. I’m not counting the Cats out yet. And those of you who are? Well, that’s like your opinion …

8. OKLAHOMA STATE (13-4, 1-2, Even): Nice start beating K-State at home, but the last two games have looked a little like this …

9. NEBRASKA (13-4, 1-2, Even): Give the Cornhuskers credit. They’re better. They played Missouri and Kansas tough on the road. But, my God, are they boring to watch …

10. IOWA STATE (14-4, 1-2, -1): Iowa State nearly won at Nebraska and hammered Baylor. Still, expect the Cyclones to take a beating, like these cars (and note the creative TV editing of “this is what happens when you fight a stranger in the Alps) …

11. OKLAHOMA (8-9, 0-3, -2): This team is bad, really bad. “Cop Rock” bad. A lot of Big 12 teams are going to need a day off, and the Sooners will abide …

12. TEXAS TECH (8-10, 0-3, -2): Speaking of bad, wow. Just wow. Watching the Red Raiders is almost as comical as this …

GAME OF THE WEEK: Texas at Kansas, Saturday. Think Rocky IV. Balboa vs. Ivan Drago.

UPSET OF THE WEEK: Kansas State at Texas A&M, Saturday. Think Rocky II. Balboa vs. Creed.

I’D RATHER WATCH FAMILY GUY: Texas Tech at Oklahoma, Tuesday. Prediction … pain. For the viewers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJnKm6ftPu0

Big 12 basketball preview: http://tinyurl.com/2ccn3ay

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