Big 12 rankings, Week 14: The breakup songs edition


The Big 12 as we’ve known it for years is no longer. Nebraska took its ball, along with a gigantic chip on its shoulder, to the Big Ten. Colorado is leaving, too, though nobody really seems to care, so we’ll focus on the Huskers.

This week’s rankings are brought to you by breakup songs, along with each team’s defining moments against Nebraska during Big 12 play …

1. OKLAHOMA (11-2, 6-2): Best moment against Nebraska: 2000, OU 31, Nebraska 14. This game, between No. 3 OU and No. 1 Nebraska, solidified that the Sooners were back in Bob Stoops’ second season. Worst moment against Nebraska: 1996, NU 73, OU 21. Two words: John Blake. And that game was in Norman.

Breakup song: The Sooners have owned the Cornhuskers for years now, leaving the Huskers saying …

2. NEBRASKA (10-3, 6-2): Best moment: National title in 1997, beating Tennessee 42-17 in the Orange Bowl, though they probably shouldn’t have been there after the flea-kicker against Missouri. Worst moment: Basically all of 2007, when NU went 5-7, including a humiliating 76-39 loss to Kansas.

Breakup song: I’m sorry Huskers, I just couldn’t resist …

3. MISSOURI (10-2, 6-2): Best moment against Nebraska: 2003, MU 42, NU 24. Ended decades of losing, and losing royally, to the Huskers. Worst moment against Nebraska: 2001, NU 36, MU 3. Eric Crouch clinches his Heisman by zig-zagging through the Tigers’ “defense” on a 96-yard touchdown run.

Breakup song: It’s no secret this has been a great rivalry the past few years, partly fueled by the fact that MU fans think this about NU …

4. TEXAS A&M (9-3, 6-2): Best moment against Nebraska: 1998, A&M 28, NU 21. This win over the second-ranked Huskers catapulted the Aggies to a South title and a spot in the conference championship game, where they stunned No. 1 Kansas State. Worst moment against Nebraska: 2003, NU 48, A&M 12. One of the worst Aggie teams in decades, finishing 4-8.

Breakup song: Nebraska’s been a thorn in the Aggies’ side, and now the Huskers’ bowl of choice is the Rose …

5. OKLAHOMA STATE (10-2, 6-2): Best moment against Nebraska: 2006, OSU 41, NU 29. Not a lot to work with here. This is the only Cowboy win over a ranked NU team during Big 12 play. Worst moment: 2010, NU 51, OSU 41. Complete defensive meltdown ended up costing OSU a trip to the conference title game.

Breakup song: Meh, this isn’t a rivalry. They really don’t need each other …

6. BAYLOR (7-5, 4-4): Best moment against Nebraska: We’ll get back to you. The Bears never beat the Huskers in Big 12 play. Worst moment against Nebraska: 2000, NU 59, Baylor 0.

Breakup song: Think the Bears are going to miss the Huskers? …

7. TEXAS TECH (7-5, 3-5): Best moment against Nebraska: 2004, Texas Tech 70, NU 10. Yes, this actually happened. Worst moment against Nebraska: 2000, NU 56, Texas Tech 3.

Breakup song: Part of the reason the Raiders went out and got Mike Leach was a series of embarrassing beatings against NU …

8. KANSAS STATE (7-5, 3-5): Best moment against Nebraska: 1998: KSU 40, NU 30. There have been other big Wildcat wins in this series, but this one cemented K-State as a national power in the late 1990s. Worst moment against Nebraska: 2007, NU 73, K-State 31. Yes, Ron Prince was that bad.

Breakup song: About sums it up …

9. IOWA STATE (5-7, 2-6): Best moment against Nebraska: 2009, ISU 9, NU 7. The Clones have been a pain in NU’s ass, but this one gets the nod because it was in Lincoln. Worst moment against Nebraska: 1997, NU 77, ISU 14. The Huskers’ last truly great team.

Breakup song: Actually, I think ISU will miss Nebraska ..

10. TEXAS (5-7, 2-6): Best moment against Nebraska: 2010, UT 20, NU 13. Worst team in years beats hated NU. Big bully forces whiney brother out of conference and rakes in the cash. Game. Set. Match. Worst moment against Nebraska: 1999, NU 22, UT 6. For the conference title, and the Longhorns’ lone loss to NU in Big 12 play.

Breakup song: No question, has to be this …

11. COLORADO (5-7, 2-6): Best moment against Nebraska: 2001, CU 62, NU 36. Came against undefeated and second-ranked Cornhuskers and clinched a bid to the Big 12 title game. Worst moment against Nebraska: 2005, NU 30, CU 3. Worst loss in an extremely competitive series.

Breakup song: This parting of ways will actually hurt the Buffs (not to mention one of the most awesome videos in the history of videos) …

12. KANSAS (3-9, 1-7): Best moment against Nebraska: 2007, KU 76, NU 39. So long Bill Callahan. Worst moment against Nebraska: 1996, NU 63, KU 7.

Breakup song: What does this have to do with anything? Nothing. It’s just funny …

Looking for previous Big 12 rankings? …

Week 1, “Tommy Boy” edition:

Week 2, “Dumb and Dumber” edition:

Week 3, “Napoleon Dynamite” edition:

Week 4, “Ace Ventura” edition:

Week 5, “Happy Gilmore” edition:

Week 6, “Swingers” edition:

Week 7, Rap videos edition:

Week 8, “Seinfeld” edition:

Week 9, Cartoon villain edition:

Week 10, “Caddyshack” edition:

Week 11, “There’s Something About Mary” edition:

Week 12, 1980s rock music video version:

Week 13, “The Office” edition:


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