Week 13 Big 12 rankings: “The Office” edition


I’ve had a request. I’ve been asked to write a version of the rankings for “Family Guy.” Obviously, said person did not read the following blog: http://tinyurl.com/259m5rt.

Ernie’s Web is bad enough without resorting to embedding links from an overrated piece of unoriginal crap like “Family Guy.”

The Big 12 as we know it is done. Sadly, one deserter (Nebraska) will be playing for the conference championship next week. You can thank Missouri for choking against Texas Tech for that.

This week’s rankings are brought to you by “The Office.”


1. OKLAHOMA (10-2, 6-2): Last week, defeated Oklahoma State 47-41. Up next, Big 12 championship game vs. Nebraska. Why are the Sooners No. 1? Because they won the South and their only two losses were on the road. Nebraska and Oklahoma State lost home games. Look for Oklahoma to win yet another Big 12 championship next week. The Sooners are ranked No. 1, so the No. 1 clip has to be the quote that makes “The Office” great …


2. NEBRASKA (10-2, 6-2): Last week, defeated Colorado 45-17. Up next, Big 12 championship game vs. Oklahoma. Give Nebraska credit for winning the North despite Taylor Martinez being injured for almost half the season. We’ll see how the Cornhuskers match up against the Sooners with a one-dimensional offense. Gotta go with Dwight K. Schrute for NU, because the Pelinis are a lot like him …


3. MISSOURI (10-2, 6-2): Last week, defeated Kansas 35-7. Up next, bowl game. Texas freaking Tech. All the Tigers had to do was win that game and they’d be heading to the Big 12 title game and might even be a lock for a BCS bowl. Nonetheless, MU had a very good season with a young team. That youth might have accounted for the unpredictability, sort of like this guy …


4. OKLAHOMA STATE (10-2, 6-2): Last week, lost to Oklahoma 47-41. Up next, bowl game. The Cowboys tumble from No. 1 to No. 4 because they lost their second conference home game. Now that we look back, OSU’s best wins were against a Texas A&M team that had Jerrod Johnson at quarterback and a Baylor squad that was falling apart down the stretch. But don’t ever question Mike Gundy …


5. TEXAS A&M (9-3, 6-2): Last week, defeated Texas 24-17. Up next, bowl game. What if? Think Mike Sherman’s wondering that about Ryan Tannehill? Had the Aggies turned to the junior quarterback earlier, they’d likely be playing for the Big 12 championship. Nonetheless, the Aggies are on fire and their late-season run may mean a spot in the Cotton Bowl. But during the first part of the season …


6. BAYLOR (7-5, 4-4): Up next, bowl game. Since the Bears didn’t play last week, we’ll just insert a great clip from the show …

Note: Sony Music doesn’t want you to view the dance scene in my blog. As such, please click here if you must. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fX7iwwB9zQ4


7. TEXAS TECH (7-5, 3-5): Last week, defeated Houston 35-20. Up next, bowl game. OK, so it wasn’t a Mike Leach season. No great quotes out of Lubbock. No 100-pass games. And, really, the Red Raiders were just plain bad quite a few times. But, Tommy Tuberville closed with a decent win against Houston, and the Red Raiders are going bowling. Still, compared to Leach, Tuberville is like this …


8. KANSAS STATE (7-5, 3-5): Last week, defeated North Texas 49-41. Up next, bowl game. Daniel Thomas did his thing, racking up nearly 300 yards against one of the nation’s worst defenses. The K-State defense also did its thing, giving up nearly 300 yards to a guy none of us has ever heard of. Stunned Bill Snyder never looked into the cameras during games while watching his defense, sort of like this …


9. IOWA STATE (5-7, 3-5): Season finished. Again, no game, season’s been over. Here’s a clip to fill the void …


10. TEXAS (5-7, 2-6): Last week, lost to Texas A&M 24-17. Season finished. What a nightmare of a season for the Longhorns (the rest of the conference enjoyed it). UT fans’ reaction? …


11. COLORADO (5-7, 3-5): Last week, lost to Nebraska 45-17. Season finished. Anybody else find it odd that CU interim coach Brian Cabral was laughing at halftime with his team down 17-3 on Friday? Pretty much says all you need to know about the Buffs, or the Todd Packer of the Big 12 …


12. KANSAS (3-9, 1-7): Last week, lost to Missouri 35-7. Season finished. I had no idea how bad this team was until Saturday. Well, that’s not true. Still, your arch rival brings its B or C game and you still lose by four touchdowns? Remember this uncomfortable, yet funny scene? This is Kansas football. History awaits …



Looking for previous Big 12 rankings? …

Week 1, “Tommy Boy” edition: http://tinyurl.com/29anpkt

Week 2, “Dumb and Dumber” edition: http://tinyurl.com/2aamn56 

Week 3, “Napoleon Dynamite” edition: http://tinyurl.com/23rrux5 

Week 4, “Ace Ventura” edition: http://tinyurl.com/24gqo3m

Week 5, “Happy Gilmore” edition: http://tinyurl.com/2c6dy69 

Week 6, “Swingers” edition: http://tinyurl.com/2epmfn4

Week 7, Rap videos edition: http://tinyurl.com/2dnfezk

Week 8, “Seinfeld” edition: http://tinyurl.com/387zmgr

Week 9, Cartoon villain edition: http://tinyurl.com/3yk2xsf

Week 10, “Caddyshack” edition: http://tinyurl.com/2vp6g5o

Week 11, “There’s Something About Mary” edition: http://tinyurl.com/394rf5e

Week 12, 1980s rock music video version: http://tinyurl.com/38pwlco


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