Big 12 rankings, Week 5: The “Happy Gilmore” edition

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We’re five weeks into the season. And what have we learned? Oklahoma and Nebraska are probably the best teams in the league, Kansas is bad, really bad, and Colorado fans are desperate for success. Oh, that and the eight or nine people who read this blog enjoy the ongoing theme of rankings with movies.

With that in mind, this week’s rankings are brought to you by “Happy Gilmore.”

The first four rankings are located here:

Week 1, “Tommy Boy” edition: http://tinyurl.com/29anpkt

Week 2, “Dumb and Dumber” edition: http://tinyurl.com/2aamn56 

Week 3, “Napoleon Dynamite” edition: http://tinyurl.com/23rrux5

Week 4, “Ace Ventura” edition: http://tinyurl.com/24gqo3m

1. Oklahoma (5-0, 1-0): Beat Texas 28-20. There are times when the Sooners look great, and times when they don’t. It’s not that Oklahoma doesn’t want to be consistent …

2. Nebraska (4-0, 0-0): The Cornhuskers’ demolition of Washington looks better after the Huskies upset USC on Saturday. Up next: A showdown Thursday in Manhattan. But NU fans are getting a little cocky and annoying now that they’re “back.” Kind of like this …

3. Missouri (4-0, 0-0): Do I think Missouri will end up the third best team in the Big 12? Probably not. Being a Tiger fan can be frustrating, especially the coaching. With that much talent, the ball should go home (in this case the end zone) …

4. Oklahoma State (4-0, 1-0): Thursday was one of those rare times I missed newspapers. When Dan Bailey hit a 40-yarder to beat Texas A&M, I immediately thought of this headline: “Dan’s the Man: Good from 40!” Ah, that Mike Gundy rant never gets old …

5. Kansas State (4-0, 1-0): Here’s your chance, Wildcats. Really want to prove you’re back. Take out Nebraska on Thursday. I suspect, however, that Nebraska likely will do this to K-State …

6. Texas (3-2, 1-1): OK, so Texas lost some great players from last year’s team that nearly won a national title. But you know what, this is Texas, school of the top-three recruiting class every year. They should be better than this. So far for the Longhorns, the price is wrong …

7. Texas A&M (3-1, 0-1): The Aggies blew a great opportunity to win on the road and build momentum for Big 12 play at Oklahoma State. A&M didn’t go to its happy place …

8. Baylor (4-1, 1-0): Either the Bears are vastly improved, or Kansas flat-out sucks. Had they not eased off the gas pedal, Baylor might have scored 70 and finished with 800 yards. And what do the Bears eat for breakfast?

9. Iowa State (3-2, 1-1): Some dumbass told you last week that the Cyclones weren’t going to win for a month, then they went out and hammered Texas Tech. I’m in Iowa State’s world now …

10. Colorado (3-1, 0-0): It’s OK to be excited, Buff fans, but storming the field after you beat a bad 1-3 Georgia team at home? It’s not like you whipped the Gators …

11. Texas Tech (2-2, 0-2): Isn’t Tommy Tuberville known for coaching defense? …

12. Kansas (2-3, 0-1): No cussing, no cell phones. This week’s punishment? Jayhawk players will have their car keys taken away. And what’s Turner Gill thinking? …

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