Week Four Big 12 rankings, the “Ace Ventura” edition

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Texas got smoked by UCLA, Oklahoma survived Cincinnati, K-State survived a close call against Central Florida, Nebraska looked lackluster. Not a banner week for the Big 12 as it heads into conference play. Week One was “Tommy Boy” edition http://tinyurl.com/29anpkt, Week Two “Dumb and Dumber” http://tinyurl.com/2aamn56 and Week Three “Napoleon Dynamite” http://tinyurl.com/23rrux5.

Week Four brings another classic: “Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.”

1. Oklahoma (4-0, 0-0): Beat Cincinnati 31-29. Other than the domination of Florida State, the Sooners look pretty ordinary. Still, it appears Landry Jones will be just fine at quarterback. In fact, one could say he fits …

2. Nebraska (4-0): Beat South Dakota State 17-3. OK, maybe Bo Pelini’s fixed the defense, though it’s difficult to tell against an NAIA nonconference schedule. Pelini’s got a bit of an anger problem. I envision him answering the door like this …

3. Texas (3-1, 1-0): Lost to UCLA 34-12. What the hell was that Longhorns? I’d say the equivalent of realizing the woman you kiss is a man …

4. Missouri (4-0): Beat Miami of Ohio 51-13. Not much to say here other than this one was over well before halftime …

5. Kansas State (4-0, 1-0): Beat Central Florida 17-13. Poor George O’Leary. He could’ve used a resume-booster like winning on the road against a BCS school. As for K-State and EMAW saying the Wildcats are back …

Alrighty then

6. Texas A&M (3-0): Bye week. We’ll know a lot more about the Aggies Thursday when they travel to Oklahoma State. This clip has nothing to do with anything, but it’s still funny …

7. Oklahoma State (3-0): Bye week. Mike Gundy. He goes on rants about being a man and 40, he thinks technology is the problem with America (even though he uses advanced technology to build scouting reports). Who is this guy? …

8. Texas Tech (2-1, 0-1): Bye week. That loss at home to Texas suddenly looks bad. The Red Raiders play Iowa State next, and what do I think about that game? (2:15 mark) …

9. Baylor (2-1): Beat Rice 30-13. What was the motive behind the Bears’ win over the in-state Owls? …

10. Colorado (2-1): Bye week. Doesn’t get any easier for the Buffs next week with a game against a wounded Georgia team. An early prediction on that game, Colorado will be the …

Loser

11. Kansas (2-2): Beat New Mexico State 42-16. A lot of people expected the Jayhawks to be 2-2, but nobody expected them to lose to North Dakota State and beat Georgia Tech. And how did that loss to the Bison feel? …

12. Iowa State (2-2, 0-1): Beat Northern Iowa 27-0. Enjoy the win, Cyclones. You’re about to go on a four-game losing streak. The second Ace Ventura movie wasn’t very good, but it had its moments …

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